Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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