You're my little dorito
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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