I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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