so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize