can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
