thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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