It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
