Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.