maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize