he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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