I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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