You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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