Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
