Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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