just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
