literally had 100 drinks last night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
