We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Of course I have a pirate flag
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
