Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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