Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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