I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize