I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
