Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
