Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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