biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
