Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
