ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
