Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
