well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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