you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
