Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
