No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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