Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
