TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize