watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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