My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
