i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
