lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
