overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
