she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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