thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
