did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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