ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
