Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
