The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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