I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
