im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
handjob tips. give me some.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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