This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
