Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize