Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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