I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
