She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
two words: eviction party
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
