i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
