youre lurking in front of me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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