And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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