Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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