is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
