she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
