I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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