My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
