Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
