You work out of a Hotel?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
