That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it's like heaven, but drunker
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
